Which is the problem?
Below a list of possible problems that teenagers usually show:
- Watch too much TV
- Goes late to bed and wakes up late
- Dresses carelessly
- Argues with his/her brothers and sisters
- Gets angry when he/she doesn’t get what he wants
- The bedroom is untidy
- Doesn’t take care of his/her things, he/she loses them
- Not involved in family life
- Wants to be on his/her own
- Dates undesirable friends
- You never know where he/she is, he/she doesn’t inform you
- Smokes or even takes drugs
- Uses clothes to provoke
- His/her hair style is odd
- Wears dirty or broken clothes
- He/she is bad at school
- Doesn’t do the homework nor studies
- Spends the day eating
- Has a vulgar and rude language
- Insults his/her parents, brothers and sisters
- Lies to do what he/she wants
- Never helps at home
- Doesn’t fulfil orders
- Uses other people’s things without permission
- Is irritable and aggressive
- Threatens to leave the house
- Takes the car without permission
- Never makes plans with the family
- Always wants to be alone
- Demands too much money
- Threatens physically
If several of these thing usually happen:
- Choose one of them
- Identify the opposite situation you want
- Design several appropriate actions for this objective
- Pray and talk to your teenager clearly and lovingly
- Try again
- Be firm
Psychological characteristics of adolescents
The adolescence stage implies a series of changes in the psychological structure of the individual, which can be summarized as follows:
- Discovery of one’s own identity. The teenager intuits and discovers that «he» is «he», not another. Different from anyone else.
- Ambivalence between childhood and maturity. He discovers himself with adult traits and child traits.
- Insecurity towards the ambiguous reality. As a result of the above, the teenager shows a great insecurity in himself.
- To disguise insecurity he needs to protect himself, for which he uses behavioral masks that prevent others from realizing reality. This is an unconscious mechanism.
- Aggressiveness, as a mask, to protect his lack of security
- Rebellion, another mask. Every teenager has a different way of being aggressive. Sometimes with verbal or behavioral violence and others in the form of self-absorption.
- Need to attract attention. Narcissism. As a manifestation of the discovery of their own reality. Wants to tell everyone «This is me.»
- The protection of the group. Group identity. The group provides shelter for personal insecurity and gives strength towards the threat of adults.
- Know the boundaries. Most adolescent behaviors respond to a reason: to know the limits of adults, so they test them doing crazy things.