Menú Desde 1996 información y formación gratuitas para familias con hijos con problemas

Ideas for a booklet on «Family Communication»

Engaged listening from parent to siblings:

.Look at the eyes of the sibling speaker

.Keep silent and nod the head assertive while he/she speaks

.Make some short remarks about the subject during a pause

.Start some short questions:  what do you think about?

.Ask all the others members of the family make a statement about

.Leave your turn for the last one, and make a concise summary

.Close the subject with an ethic message

Engaged listening from adolescent to parents :

.Look at your parent´s eyes while speaking

.Nod the head as an assertive way to indicate listening

.Make some question about the conversation: how do you know?

.Ask about their experience: when you were as old as me now, how did you feel?

Parents need to remember Dr Albert Mehrabian investigation: the non verbal components in family communication,  is quite important. He divided in percentages the impact from a message:  7%  is verbal ,just for information; 38% is vocal, like  tone, touch and 55%  is signals and gestures.

In a talk face to face the verbal component is no more than a 35%,  the rest a 65% is just  personal attitudes and emotions

Like a resume partners agree some:

 “Communicational Families Rules”

Always tell the truth

Work hard your listening attitude

Hugs are nutritious as well

Keep your promises

Lough out loud when your at home

Say frequently “I love you”

Say please and thanks to every small help

Start talking about your own emotions before asking

Enjoy your family cooking and dinner time

One conclusion after having study and compare our DIR questionnaires was that many “European parents” did not know how to punish fairly.

So Fundación Belén (FB) as Coordinator asked partners to think about that point. Here are some of the consensus DIR prepositions:

Change punishment for appraisal. Adolescents who are properly appraised by their parents they feel motivated, enlightened, aware of their strengths and weaknesses and, more importantly, they want to improve themselves.

What is the purpose of appraisal? To improve performance

What is the benefit to siblings of an effective parent´s appraisal? Improve their own character

What is a parent’s responsibility as an appraiser? Learn and be honest

It is through communication that families are defined and members learn how to organize meanings. Families are formed, maintained, and dissolved through the use of communication

The family dinner table is one of our most reliable daily opportunities to get a “temperature check” on our kids.   It is a perfect chance to check in on whether kids are overwhelmed or anxious, and to find out if something is worrying them.

Family dinner also gives parents a place to teach lessons and reinforce skills and ideals for their kids.  Just by being together and combining food, fun and conversation, you can help kids develop character traits like resilience, empathy and courage

 Model caring for others. Researchers have found that kids whose parents expect them to help those in need, are more likely to show courage in a variety of situations. 

Try new foods. It may seem like a small thing, but taking tiny risks — like trying new foods — can help kids feel braver and more confident about stepping outside their comfort zones

If you feel you absolutely must follow up about anything you hear at table, choose a time later. Away from the dinner table, and try an opening line like “Do you want any help with that homework situation?” or “I was wondering if you might be comfortable sharing more about that problem..”

The more kids feel they can trust you to hear about their missteps without a negative response, the more relaxed and open they’ll become about communicating with you in the future

Put kids in charge of planning. Give everyone a job. Every member of the family can pitch in to make mealtimes a success! Even toddlers can fold napkins and carry them to the table; preschoolers can wash produce, stir ingredients and set out unbreakable dishware; elementary kids can help prepare simple dishes, pour drinks and clear the table; and so on.

6. Talk about courage and values. One great way to get kids thinking about how courage shows up in their own lives is to share your own stories

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